I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
i think we sleep fucked last night...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
