these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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