dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
