Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
