just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
