You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
