Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
how drunk are you?
Several
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
