you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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