a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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