i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
