I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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