That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
