So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
