butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
