i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
