tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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