One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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