Where is the hickey?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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