it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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