He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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