she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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