Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
