I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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