Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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