She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
