Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize