OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
