Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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