Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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