i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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