after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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