I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
