ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize