Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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