my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
