Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
