Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
