i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
