in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
