so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
