she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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