whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
