i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
did i walk over a car last night?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
