You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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