i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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