When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
