he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
