They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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