and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
