I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
