Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
