And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
