There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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