Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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