Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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