he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
last night I used snow as a chaser
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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