question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
