In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
