All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
