its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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