Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
