Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
