Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
