Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
